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neverlettinggo

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[04 Aug 2005|02:17am]
hi. okay noone reads this but who the helll cares? idk what to do...met this guy at a party and im just so baffled by him lol he was amazing to me, never let me out of his sight the whole night cause he wanted to make sure i was okay..but hes leaving soon so thats all shot to hell...and then i met this other guy that is sooo sweet..but ive already lied to him so i cant have him anymore lol, goddamnit i have a problem with lying, but fuck it theres nothing i can do about it now...damn im like stuck at home for the rest of this summer...fuckin a lol
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[05 Jul 2005|08:38pm]
alright...what to write....uhhh guys are bullshit, idk id like a boyfriend haha but thats not happening...nothing new..doesn't surprise me....idk what to think.....i'm just tired of always getting my hopes up and nothing ends up happening....i get led on to think something might work out but with my luck it doesnt, they just end uo
leaving



god fucking guys they can suck my dick lol


fuck it....
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[23 Apr 2005|11:06pm]
hmm so yesterday...friday...after school i walked with ryan to starbucks and we hung out there, but then he left to go get a haircut, so i walked over to kims and ryan was there and he was being big bad mr man lol, but kim told me something that really made me smile, something that ive never heard her say before and i am SO happy for her, okay and thenn umm we decided what to do and walked up to giant and met up with ryans friend geo? and he drove down hedges and parked and then i realized i had to go so i made the LONGEST walk back up to starbucks and when i got there marc called and asked me to prom:):):) so im reallly excited about that, so mm yeah then i went home and showered and stuff and went up to montclair and hung out with ym mom and some people and theyre soo much fun, and so i think ill be going up there more often, and then todayy i woke up at like 1 and my mom brought me mcdonalds which is always my favorite, and then i went up to springfield and babysat this kid, he was a good kid so i was happy lol, made some money, and now im home...start commenting cause im back<3
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[21 Apr 2005|06:26pm]
wow i havent updated in like a year haha, but umm so im just gunna start with my last weekend lol...fridayyy i hung out with ryan kennedy all day and then we met up with the gay jewish kid so we were stuck with him for everrrrr, and like we walked and met up with jake marco and ben and david got excited cause he got what he wanted, and thennn they left, so me david and ryan walked all the way to ryans housej ust to get his wallet and i think his hat lol but it was a relaxing walk other then the gay kid making retarded comments, but whatever haha so finally he went home and me and ryan walked up to starbucks which is where my mommy got me and we went and saw damn yankees which was A MAY ZINGGGG cause julie is the fucking best lol, anyways so then saturday i got up at like 1030 and showered and my mom brought me into lakeridge and i hung out with ferrio but then he went to work, so then both ryans showed up and we hung out and met up with andrew and that was mm interesting?b ut whatever haha so then we uh hung out? and i got bored so i went to starbucks and saw miss brittanyyy:) and i found uot she was going to the show too so i called my mom and told her to drop me off at eastcoast, so at likeee 53o she did and i hung out with marc and saw LIKEWISE play which is always amazing, and then euphoria was good, esp when kevin screamed for that one song. then at like 830 or so, will drove me home and we realized i smelled like lotion and cigarettes, mmm lol but yeah so then i think i just stayed up online and watching movies and stuff, and then sunady i went to special olympic bowling which i havent been to in a while so it was good to see everyone, and i got like a 43, 80, and a 64 or something haha YES i am the best bowler lol, but yeah then my mom dropped me off in lakeridge at a roys house and me him and keri watched white castle which was pretty funny cause there was so much marijuana in that movie lol, mm we went on his deck and talked for a while and keri informed me a little too much about ryans mom that like got me laughing so hard i was in tearssssss...i wont get into that haha. so me and keri walked to marcos, got my stuff and met up with all three ryans and andy, and then we wanted to go back to her house so we went to baskin robins, and then was on cotton mill and realized i forgot my shit, so we made fools out of ourselves trying to get back there, and then nick mansberger yelled at me and told me to stop dancing in the middle of the road haha, so we finally got to her house and got changed into our pjs and had ryan and ryan come over later for pizza and a movie, and then they left at like 11 and me and keri stayed awake till like 8 lol, we got up at NINEEEE< and made muffins and corey and christian came over and we played with his new toy lol, and then both ryans came over. so me and keri wanted to tan so we got in our suits and layed on the back deck until we got muffins thrown on our heads...so we movedl ol. finally later i got christian and ryan to tan with me which was funny cause they like lathered on tanning oil haha then after we showered and stuff me keri ryan and ryan went to brittanys but it was closed, so we hung out at starbucks until ryans mom drove us to the movies and we saw fever pitch, and that was cutee, then keris dad drove me home, which was like the dumbest ive ever been in my life lol cause we now have SHEA LIES which are gay lol. but yeah that was my 3 day weekend. schools been school this week, wednesday was 42o so that was funnn as hell haha i hung out with kim ryan ryan and brandon and we had a good ass time.. but tomorows friday so i gotta love it. but i cant do anything this weekend which sucks. tomorow night im probably going to montclair with my parentsss lol to chill with this guy that works there who told my dad i was "a major hottie" mmm not a good thing to tellmy dad but whatever lol saturday im babysiting this kid and then sunday sleeping? lol idk but if you read this whole thing ill be amazed..it was mostly for me to remember haha
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[28 Jan 2005|11:10pm]
[ mood | hungover ]

mm today was funnn, lol after schoooolll me markie stephen keri and kat went back to marcs and we uh hung out? lol we all had a nice time i hope? umm i ended up getting stephens jacket a little dirty:( sorry about that haha, but yeah mea nd him took like a 2 hour nap which was nice, then we left and by then keri and kat were long gone, um yeh then we went to get his paycheck and to mcdonalds and the bank and then this kid erics house, we all chilled there then went to hardtimes and i tried to play pool but it was just not working out for me haha, when i was leaving i saw miss LAUREN<3 and that was exctiing cause i hadnt seen her in forever, but yeahh mm we went back to erics and i watched them play video games, then my hayley came oveR<3 and we all chilled, then went to the mall<< where i saw lindsey nd amanda, and then chris 1 chris 2 and caity thennn>>, subway, johnnys, pizza king, and then stephen brought me homee, it was a nice day for my parents HATING me cause my phones gay

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[24 Jan 2005|07:30pm]
[ mood | apathy ]

HOLY i havent updated ina lonngg ass time hmmm, ill just jump in with my weekend, imean im sorry i havent been updating ill really try this time, illl have pictures soon enough once i get my pics developedd<3

friday- ohhh man haha, after school marc drove me and kat i think to keris, and like we got there and there were some people there already, marc leaves and then comes back with two handles for us, so wereli ke sweet, but kats like we gotta go get money and stuff, so we leave and drop her offf and then me and keri go to giant and get crush, condoms, chips and dip and like while we were in line to pay some big black guy was hitting on us haha he was like 40 it was great, but yeah mm then marc gets kat while were in there and so we get out and go back to keris and like nick josh jon jeff christian cory ryan brandon andy chris alex michelle and like some other people were already there so we were like umm thats chill and so me keri and kat start drinking and its only like 4, the next thing i know is were up in keris room dancing and shit and everyones coming in, and dammmn after like 6 things started gettin a little shaky haha..i won't go into the rest of the night cause it just leads to more and more drinks, and more and more just il just leave it at me keri and kat just were gone haha and we had some GOOD ASS times and if it wasnt for andy brandon ryan and marc...holy lol..mm yeh, so i ended up showering at sarahs that night and asking her why everything smelled like oranges and i thought i was gunna die cause i got soap in my eyes lol, and my head was likea magnet to the wall..yeh i was totally wasted lol but i love her moree then life itself
umm saturday-woke up, got driven to keri's, we chilled in her room, then timmy picked us up and like took us out and stuff, we ended up going to giant and i saw mrs kasik and that was exciting, and liek then we go bck to keris and eat fries and watch half baked, and that was cooool then we leave and go to ryans and have a killer snow ball fight haha then ryan stuffs snow in my face so i go to get him back but i guess theres a rock underneath it all and i trip and fall on my face:[ so ryan rushes me inside and he lets me borrow a hoodie and pants and so i get changed and all nice and warm, then we all go to starbucks and me and ryan stepped outside and got to talk and that was nice cause we hadnt had one of those in a wwhile, so then we went back to keris and me her and timmy just like watched the road rules real world challenges and stuff andt hat was fun,
umm thennnnn the next morning- timmy takes us to dennys and that was nicee:) and then we go back and hang out with nick and jeff, and then marc picks me up and we go back to his house and me and kat go have "girl-talk" and i goh ome at like 8 lol, so thatssss my few daysss COMMENT!

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[01 Jan 2005|02:21am]
[ mood | drunk ]

shit got myself a new fucking layout you better like it lol, mm pictures onece i get my cam developed, um happy new years, im fuckin drunk as shit and its amazing..kinda suckec cause ino just wasnt a great new years but i spent it with katie and that was nice, cause like iuno we got to talk and shit it was nice, so it wasnt all bad, now were gunna drink more, and fell better, and shit and yeh were gunna watch movies and fall asleep to taht later, and then tomorow off to lakeridge, cause its my goddamn second home and i love it and i wish i could fucking live there but i cant cause i cnat move my house it just doestn work, but mm eh latelyi ve just been thinking and i raelly like someone ut iuno hwo tahts gunna turn out cause wrestling seansosn gunna end soona nd then i wont hardly ever see him so i think i should get over him and fuincd someone new but thats gnot gunna work cause i really want a guy NOW an dsh shti its just not woring for eme lol iuno shits kinda confusing now but yeh im stil here and i want you guys to comment, PLAESSE
k bye

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[19 Dec 2004|11:25pm]
um i n ever update lol, i do every so often so dont take me off your friends list caus eyou never know when ill post pictures or something important, this weekend i was at the wrestling tournament and that had its ups and downs, i got a lottt closer to the team which is nice cause that was my main goal bt then some drama happened the second day..and we just wont go into that, umm fridayyy brandon told me some guy was threating him, and i got scared, so we go to the box after school and noone for him was there so we go to the second box and we all are just chillin, then at like 245 i leave for the school, and i guess everyone dips after that, when im walkin up i see this black guy walkin and when he sees me he starts running and his jacket kinda opens up and i see a fucking GUN, i flipppp out so i run to the school and call the cops, and iuno what happened with him, but brandon didnt see him so thank goddd hes okay, umm then we get on the bus and eventually me and hayley go in the back with some people, and mikey and ivan kept asking me all these..questions lol that was fun, and so we get to the school and that happens and at like 1230a we leave and go to the hotel and me and hayley find out our rooms occupied so she goes and deals with that and mikey was like yo come chill in our room, so me him jesus ivan and moshin watch the mask and talk and then hayley comes back so we go to our room, and then we end up chillin with nick johnny and tom the whole night and that was funnnnnnnnnn, i only got..2 hours of sleep:-\ which was okay but not? lol then drama happened at the tournament and then we go home lol, so today i go to starbucks and chill, and then keri kinda upset me with something she said but whatever, fuckkkk it lol, tomorow HOPEFULLY no school..thatd be nicee..
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[05 Dec 2004|05:51pm]
ah second entry in ONE day, go me=), but iuno ive just been thinking, i wanna be able to write HAPPY stuff int his shit, iuno stuff like "omg i love him so much, im so happy that me and him are together finally, after all that shit and finally happiness=)" i mean i see that in soo many peoples journals and im like fucking a i havent written about that shit..like ever lol, the closest thing i ever had to love i couldnt even HAVE< yeah it kinda sucks, iuno theres a possibility somewhere but it depends on how he feels and on what he wants, and im scared to find out what he wants cause i dont wanna get hurt again...but yeh so thats what im thinking..k bye
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[05 Dec 2004|05:06pm]
mm definetly havent updated in a while, but hmm ill just start from fridayyyy, umm after school i had wrestling practice and that was okay, but then me and hayley got SO friggin bored and thought it was pointless to stay so we were like uhhh i have a doctors appt and uhh she needs to take me lol, and it worked so we got to leave, umm then i went to starbucks and met up with ryan keri josh marc erica and everyone and that was fun, then marc took me to east coast and we went gangsta on the way there<3 SO fun rapping lol, but yeh so we get there and umm we hang out with erica roy and two other girls, i think their names are melissa and krissie, theyre relallly chill so that was funn, thenn mm chris came, and that was cool, me nd him listened to kitten on fire and headstart, and iuno that night kinda brought us closer i think, but yeahhh thennn mm we all just chilled and then my anna and keri came<3 and likewise rockkeddd out, mmm but my william fell on cords and knocked some amps over:( lol BUT he made it look good, so in the middle of their set, i got kevin and i was like yo its my girls birthday can you sing for her and he was like well why dont you come up here, so she got on stage and they all sang to her which was good cause it made her happy=), mm but yeah so then marc got angry and drove me home, on sat i woke up at 9, went to garfield and was there until 73o, that was fun, mm sike lol, but iuno me and hayley got to talk more, and that was cool, but m yeah so marc picked me up and thenn took me back to his house cause his mom was having like a fiesta lol, i got to meet some of his family and that was cool, theyre really nice, mm but yeah then he took me to annas and iuno i didnt feel good and i was not in the best mood either, so i just kind atalked to zak until my mom came and then i came home, adn then left for a while cause i just had to, and then came home, had a talk with someone that actually made me feel a lot better, and then yeah..okay so that was my weekend<3 comment so i know your alive
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[28 Nov 2004|03:20pm]
     umm yeah stuffs confusing and mm iuno what to do about it, lol im gunna try and not get into it cause ill end up sounding uber emo and then people will be like uh eh shes gay so ill just shutup and post pics<3 enjoy.     SO WON'T YOU KILL ME SO I DIE HAPPYCollapse )
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[15 Nov 2004|06:52pm]
[ mood | eh headache ]

oh man today was just another day..umm hung out with aaron int he monring and that was interesting lol hes a cool guy thoguh, fun to talk to but i was just too tired to care about anything anyone was saying=( oops, lol, mm but yeah nothing realy happened, mm health was gay cause nick wasnt there, found out later he skipped with keri, got caught but they arent in trouble=) so thats good, umm creative writings always fun and me and anna have this KICKASS idea about oxymorons LOL you know whatsup babydoll;-) haha, but yeah so i was talking with chad after school and like were goin through like the same thing now which is cool cause i love my little junior friend haha ahh i loev that kid, umm but yeah then he drove me up to starbucks and then i just chilled there, saw josh random nick roy keri ryan ryan erica seth andy derek and everyone, thatt was fun, but it sucks cause i can't see derek till like thurs cause hes not gunna be a workin man these next few days=( mm but yeah left at like 43o, then got home, went to walmart, that was fun bought a whole buncha stuff, and now imhome, tomorow im probablyiuno doing something lol k bye<3

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[14 Nov 2004|07:20pm]
[ mood | cold ]

damn havent updated in a while, really confused about a lot of stuff but everything will just fall into place eventually, i gotta finish my camera thing and then ill post some pics and hopefully ill start updating more often<3

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[30 Oct 2004|04:52pm]
i havent updated in a while, what a surprise, the past few days have just been...stressful i guess you could say, the only people that really understand me right now is erica ashley and keri and i love you guys for being there and helping me through this, and wow, okay umm just alot of stuff hasbeen goin on but hopefully in a few weeks itll all blow over and things will go back to the way they used to be..mm thats just what im hoping, i have three pics to share, im getting a shit load in a few days cause ericas gunna send em to me later, so yeah i love you all...comment please<3some picsCollapse )
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[21 Oct 2004|07:50pm]
mm updating wow good job shea umm wow i havent like told you all what ive been doing in forever, umm every morning/after school= me seth erica andrew dan brandon kaitlin umm and like 5 other people at the boxxxx<3 lol thats always fun, but umm yeah damn ive met summa the best people this year, i mean like HOLY, lol it makes me happy bt yeah damn homie this entries gunna be short, but i will start updating hopefully like everyday and saying what i did and shit and hopefully start posting pics<3 bye loves
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[17 Oct 2004|01:44am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

ommggggggggg eoiju09w468uid09fot6ije49otidjrto9ues4096odrtjidsioirptseuropsjusoirlju sertiarwotsje rtosie im so angry like seriously i just need to like...hit somehting lol a wall my computer..mm bad idea so ill just vent in this cause i just got done venting to anna and so then i was like hmm livejournal time, but yeah iuno if i can even go to homeocming anymore and seriously that would like kill me cause this will me like ahhhhh 1. me and jeff's like first time actually getting to hang out with eachother and like talk and stuff, i mean weve hung out before but that was when iw as with chris so like i couldnt be how i wanted to be around him cause i really liked him and just ah, and then 2. i need to be with anna seriosuly like im so glad shes going with us that night cause iuno i would just be like lost without her, AH and yeah iuno and its my homecoming, okay well just like...the past few days have just been amazingggg ive just been so happy, and then this...god all because of ONE friggin phone call that was like..i thoguthd shed be happy that i didnt just have them come over and then she be surprised that they were there, ya know? GODDAMNIT rtoiwuej6092wu3jerkl i hate people cept for josh tyler anna katie jon and roy..oh and keri jake and jeff...nd will lol okay everyone else i hateeeeee cause..i just do goddamnit dont question me. okay there might be some other peopel thta i love but im just too fuckin mad to remember them right now lol, umm yeah and thats my story, please comment so that i know you guys are still reading cause the last like 5 entries you havent been commenting:( alright later boys/

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[04 Oct 2004|05:58pm]

give me a minute to be emo sad and depressed....gosh im so pissed off, i fucking hate life and i hate having to choose over two people that i love so much and then having to choose AGAIN, i frigin hate it

k anywaysss=) umm the past few days have been soooo friggin fun like okay..on friday i skipped 7th period, and then after school went to katies and hung out with her jon dn chris and that was soo fun cuase we just chilled on her back porch and in her living room watching katie model=) and umm then chris left for work and drove jonny home, then like an hour later jonny shows up at katies house and we leave and start walkgn and he goes "Get in the van" and me and katie are like what the hell, holy shit he stole his moms car to come pick us up LOL omg it was so funny, he was a good driver though, so we go back to his house and as hes pulling in the van in tnhe driveway and stops and says "fuck i think i just ran over a cat" me being me thinks hes kidding and im like omg jonny shutup so kaite gets outta the car and screams and therse jonnys KITTEN...the one that looked like boots's head under the tireeee =( =( =(, oohmygod so he backs it up and it was the grossest thing i had ever seen in my life, im not even gunna descibe it, UGH so gross, okay but umm so we hang otu there and then i leave to go to east coast and we get there early so my mom takes me shopping and then seth comes so we go in and we see some good bands play, and thennnn my will and i talked for like a long time, and that was fun, then seth left so i just hung out with will the whole timmee, then at like 1245 he drove me homee even though my parents werent too happy but thats okay, umm then the next day i cleaned like woah and then katie came over and we hung out then at like 1230am,jonny and chris came over and like my momw as lik euh sleep over, so they were like okay, and then josh another josh and sean came over and my mom was like uh sleep over, so they were like okay, so she gave us a shitload of alcohol and we partied in my basement all night..till josh got sick=(, then josh josh sean and jon left at like 630 cuase theyre mom didnt kknow they were outtt and chris katie and i had a sleepover=) it was fun lol,  umm yeah then at like 1130 they wake me up and we eat and shower and then leave and go to jonnys and then chris's and his mom gave me a dress to try on, thenn i went home. umm drama happened last night and today so its gay, but i got to hang out with jonny katie and keri today so im uber happy=) cause i love them. omg you better friggin commment or like...imma start writing in my j0ournal lol cause i think you guys dont read itttt jesus. lol

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[02 Oct 2004|09:44pm]
I KNOW YOU'RE GONE...AND I'LL CARRY ON
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[30 Sep 2004|09:11pm]

my dayyyy was great lol umm school was okay, i finally got that guys name that kept staring at me lol, he seems like an okay guy umm but yeah after school chris picked me jonny nd josh up and we went nd dropped josh off and then went to jonnys and hung out there for a while, then we went to giant and then went back to chris's house and then i redid his hair and then ojsh and roy came overr and i missed roy becauesd i hadnt seen him in a day lol a nd then jonny josh nd josh left to go get tyler and then they bring him back and im like *)(*&@(&$* TYLERRR, goshhh ive missed him wayy to much so i go give him the biggest hug ever lol, and then umm we hang out there and me chris tyler and roy cuddle on the couch and then we leave and go to giant, and josh leaves to get carrie and jake , and then we meet back up at chris's and it was good to see my carrie again<33 lol anddd umm jon and chris tlaked about their house plannsss and umm then they all left to go to katies and then christopher michael stayed with me till my mommy came<3333, im gunna say this in like every post,  GOSHH i love those guys lol

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[29 Sep 2004|07:36pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

OKay umm, ive been hanging out with mostly like seth and jonny the past few daysssss, OH OH okay last night i had a dream about roy haha we were sitting at my table and talking about cell phones and he had the exact same number to his voicemail as me and then all of a sudden his gay ass ringtone comes on, i thought i was gunna kill something lol, but then i woke up and had to tell him about it...it made him wet=) anywayss umm after schoool me and brandon walked for like 30 minutes till we saw marco and roy and then we all walked to foodlion and then over to jakes and just hung there for like ever. josh jon joe marco roy jake jeff keri jessica lisa charlie nd like 10 other people but i didnt know them, but umm it was chill cause ilove jonny and he makes me laugh haha he was like "shea i'm gunna finish school, because then id be wi..wi..wi..wi..wi(plus like 20  more times)....uh shea what am i talking about" lol "dear god, i love you more than anything, thank for you my life...SHEA JOSH GODDAMNIT START PRAYING" "katie i love you...id pierce a rhinocerouseses's brain while going 400 miles per hour for you" goshhh jonny ilove you lol, you always make my day like 10 times better..but anyways ummm i still need to find me a date for homecoming lol  maybe ill ask chris to go with me, but thatd make me feel like a nerd LOL so umm yeah iuno ill figure something out, but me sarah julie murrdeth  nd krissie all have our plans set out for the nighttttt<3333 yay lol itll be fun, OH OH i have pictures but shea marie is way too lazy to post them now.

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